My dear friends,

I am sorry for getting this update out so slowly. The last two weeks were busy ones. On Monday the 27th, Al and I spoke with my oncologist about stopping the chemo until we go to MD Anderson and he was fine with that decision. We head out there on Monday the 10th to get testing and discuss their recommendations for treatment. I must say that with every week I’ve been off the chemo, I have felt more like myself both mentally and physically. The chemo I was on was strong and my body just had a lot of issues with it. It seemed I could never completely recover from one treatment until it was time for the next one to begin. The last few weeks have seen warmer temperatures and sunny days. Feeling better and being able to enjoy the outdoors makes me feel so renewed. You just can’t beat what God creates. 

On January 30th, the doctor called and said my potassium levels were critically low, so they set me up for an IV the next day (4 hours). The Saturday after the treatment I did not feel well, but on Sunday morning I woke up much better. It was a beautiful day and I was able to go outside and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. This past week I have continued to feel better every day. So now I’m looking forward to the week ahead and our trip to MD Anderson. Amazing what a few good days of feeling well can do for you physically and mentally. 

Please pray for wisdom from God on what to do. I am assuming there may be multiple options. Also please pray for physical strength and a sharper mind. Al and I will need to absorb what we hear and to process it. Finally, please pray for God’s perfect peace as we make the decision on which course of action to take and may He be glorified in whatever we do. I can’t say it enough, but thank you for the love, care, and many prayers lifted up to God for us (and the delicious meals 🙂

Nancy
Psalm 32:8

Yesterday I had my scan, and it appears that nothing has changed. This could mean that the chemo has slowed the growth of the cancer; plus, the scan was done of a larger area which did not show any new cancer. For these things we thank God, and thank all of you for praying.

After my last update with the good news of no nausea and more energy, I had a new development which can sometimes happen with chemo. I got thrush in my mouth at first and then down my esophagus making it incredibly hard to swallow. Everyone is trying to get me to eat and drink so that I won’t get dehydrated and will regain some strength, but it has been almost impossible. Fortunately, I have been able to get some new medication for the thrush and it is beginning to clear up.

Please keep praying that God will give us wisdom for each step of this process. Our first visit with MD Anderson is on Feb. 10th.  Also, pray that I will keep trusting God with each new development that comes my way.

Thank you for your faithful prayers. We love all of you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying for me as I faced this latest chemo treatment on Monday! I have not had one drop of nausea and I even have felt a little more energy. This is BY FAR the best I have done yet. I know so many of you have been praying and the results have been amazing. 

Now I would ask that you please pray as tomorrow I have to go get an injection to increase my white blood cell count which is very low due to the chemo. You can also be praying for my upcoming CT scan on Monday morning. They will be scanning from my knees to the top of my neck to see how my pancreas and liver are responding to the chemo treatments as well as determining if it is affecting the surrounding areas. All of this will give us more information to make decisions going forward. Pray for God to give us wisdom each step of the way. What joy and comfort we are experiencing as a result of your love and prayers. May God bless you greatly for caring for us. 

For all the prayer warriors, my chemotherapy on Dec. 30th was free of nausea thanks to all of your fervent prayers. There are plenty of other strange side effects to chemotherapy, but by far the worst in my mind, is nausea.

On Monday, Jan. 13th, I will be going back for my 3rd round of chemo. Pray that we will discover soon whether this chemo is working. It is certainly not something that I want to continue if it is not doing what we had hoped. We were also told that I will be getting a PET scan sometime this month. Pray that the cancer will be contained. I have good days and bad….please pray that my spirit would stay strong.

Ultimately, I do know that my Heavenly Father, Almighty God, is holding me in His arms and will take care of me to the end.

Love you all,

  Nancy

Good afternoon my dear friends,

Time for an update since Monday starts round 2 of chemo. To catch you up, the first week of chemo for me was like the lost week. Most of it was a blur, with much of it feeling surreal. The second week, praise the Lord, has been much better and I am learning what works and doesn’t work to help me. Of course, this can change on a dime too. I can begin a glass of water with it tasting fine, and half way through, it begins to get more and more bitter. They warned me that my hormones could get messed up which is quite a shock at 70 🙂 I feel like I am in my first trimester of pregnancy trying to figure out what I think sounds good to eat.

Al has been a jewel as he has become my primary nurse. He never complains and is ready to do whatever it takes to get me over the goal line. One could never have a more selfless teammate in the game. He reminds me of a linemen on the football team who sacrifices his body to give his running back a lane to run through. The only time his name is called is when he is penalized! I love those guys! They keep at it!

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day our family kept everything as normal as ever as we went between our daughter’s house and ours. I was not in tip top shape, but God gave me the strength to enjoy and savor every last second with all of them. Everyone got their picture made with me while I still have hair (I insisted :). I think we all hugged a little longer and lingered together in conversation as all that matters was in clear focus before us. It was a treasure. For this, I praise the sweetness of Jesus.

Today is Saturday, the 28th of December, and as I am writing this it is my birthday. I have always hated having a birthday at Christmas as it seems so anticlimatic. Who cares? Everyone pushes through and acts like they can’t wait to see me again. So we will gather here for lunch which I picked out…chicken pot pie and jello! What a combination! They are lucky we are not having dill pickles for cake! 

This birthday is especially notable….I turn 70. 70 is not 50 or 60. It is 70! It changes your perspective on so many things. For example, Al and I just built a new home 2 years ago, and I had to convince the roofer then that I was not interested in a 30 year guarantee. I said it would probably be 15 years at best before I moved into a senior living facility. Actually, it was somewhat freeing to realize that I was not so entangled with my earthly things.

This brings me to my point. As I begin  the next round of chemo, I realize everyone will have an opinion of what I should do, or think, or where I should go for more help, etc. Usually I am so flexible and yield easily to anyone’s good opinion. I have found through this experience that I do have a voice. The voice I believe God is leading me to follow….His (and of course Al’s). My heart is surrendered to allow God to help me embrace what He has for me in this next stage of life no matter what. One thing I know, I want to be near my family and loved ones as much as possible. I do not want to run around wearing myself out in order to get more years, only to realize I flittered away the ones I had left. As strength allows, I want to be there for my grandchildren’s programs and athletics. To that end, I want to diligently seek strength and energy for this.

Mental and spiritual strength also are necessary for this journey. They need to be equally nourished. Many of you have already been nourishing me as you have sent me the kindest words of love and hope. And I also know there are many of you who are “praying without ceasing” for me. You are my linemen; the unsung heros who make a way for me to run. Do not underestimate your value!!

The verse in Hebrews that God gave me before the journey began was in Hebrews 12:2 where I had been teaching the months before.  It says, “Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the suffering, despising the shame, etc.” . The final section of Hebrews 12:2 says, “For the joy that was set before Him.”

What was that? When Jesus quit looking at the pain and suffering that was going to come at the cross, He faced it by looking at what God was going to accomplish through His pain and suffering. What was that? He would be able to bring all of us, who by faith would accept His offer, into heaven to be with Him forever. What should my focus be ? To point others to that way he has made for us to spend eternity with him through his defeat of sin and death at the cross. The joy will be to celebrate him for all of eternity.

Clearly the hardest part of this journey for me is going to be the pain and suffering since I am wimp! So many of you have asked for specific prayer requests, so here are a few: that my bloodwork on Monday shows improvement, that the nausea eases so I can eat and stay hydrated, that the chemo starts working against the cancer and that God gives us wisdom for each step along the way.  Thank you for walking this road with me. Your prayers and love mean everything.   

 With gratitude,
  Nancy

In June of this year, I had my annual check up with my primary care physician and all of my bloodwork came back normal. By October, I was beginning to have a slight pain in my stomach. I thought that maybe I needed a stronger anti-acid for reflux. My doctor had me do an ultrasound first and also drew blood for testing. The ultrasound revealed a spot in my pancreas which the doctor felt required further examination by a gastroenterologist. My blood work was anything but normal, which is highly unusual for me. My blood sugar was up, my sodium was low, my liver enzymes up, and my thyroid numbers skewed.

The gastroenterologist sent me for a high powered MRI MRCP that would show the entire area of my stomach. Right before Thanksgiving, the results came back which showed that everything was clear and the liver and pancreas were fine. I had dodged a bullet. However, my stomach was still hurting, especially after I ate. So we scheduled an endoscopy for later in December. Our Thanksgiving was wonderful with the family and we celebrated as usual. On December 6th, I had planned to go Christmas shopping with my daughter when I began to have intense pain down my right arm and shoulder, as well as on the right side of my abdominal area. I met my daughter at a free standing ER in the area to make sure I was not having a heart attack. I told her I was not going into a waiting room full of sick people because I didn’t want to catch anything 😂. Not a soul was there. They took me straight back and found that my heart was fine. I told them that my stomach and right side had been hurting as well so the doctor suggested we perform a CT scan. I argued that I knew my stomach was fine because I had already had an MRI and told everything was clear. He persisted that a CT scan looks differently at those things and might give us more information. Fortunately, my husband had arrived to be with me when the doctor came back with the results. The tests revealed an adenocarinoma mass in my pancreas. Not only that, but there also appeared to be multiple smaller lesions in my liver which looked to be the same thing. Frankly, I had a very hard time believing this could be true. How could two tests be so different? He continued explaining that he found my sodium levels to be extremely low and feared I might have a seizure if I did not go by ambulance straight to the hospital. That will leave your head spinning! So off we were to begin a journey we had never planned.

Meeting with the surgeon the following morning, our worst fears were confirmed. He agreed with the CT results and felt that we should quickly have an endoscopic procedure done to get a pathology report. He lined that up for the following Wednesday (Dec 11th), and once the procedure was performed, the diagnosis was confirmed. This has now been less than a week since I went to the ER. We met with with the oncologist the next morning and he recommended beginning chemotherapy the following Monday the 16th. The speed at which at this was unfolding was hard to comprehend. We jumped on board and lined up having surgery for the chemo portal placement on Monday morning with the therapy to begin that same day.

Up to this point, I had felt really fine. The intense pain even went away at the ER on that Friday we were there. I am convinced that God orchestrated it all to get me in for the correct diagnosis. I had such positive expectations for the chemo treatment. The weekend before it began was wonderful. We were able to have the grandchildren over to spend the night, make Christmas cookies, watch a Christmas movie, and enjoy a wonderful memory maker together. I thank God so much for that special weekend.

I highly underestimated the possible side effects of chemotherapy. By Monday evening, I was beginning to get sick. For the next 14 hours, I was far more sick than I have ever been in my life with no relief in sight. The next day, I was so weak from fluid loss that we were instructed to go in for an IV. On Wednesday afternoon (Dec 18th), the therapy was finished and I was able to get the tubes taken out. This did result in the symptoms slowly starting to subside over the following hours and days. On Friday, I had to get more fluids for strength because I had eaten nothing all week because of the nausea. Although I still don’t feel normal, I am starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. All of this happened within 2 weeks of my initial ER visit which was mind boggling to me because I was still trying to come to grips with the diagnosis itself.

The plan is for another round of chemo treatment starting December 30th (which will continue every 2 weeks). Pray I don’t run away where they can’t find me by then! Who wants to sign up for a stomach virus every two weeks 😅.

Actually, we are told that the side effects from treatment should get better as I move through this process. Some people have no nausea from treatment, however, God had spoken to me through His word that this would not be an easy or short journey. He has already experienced all of the pain and suffering on earth at the cross. He understands completely my cry to the Father and He himself as my high priest lifts my name before Almighty God. This fills me with such comfort.

I will be trying to update this site with the help of others. That might be easier said than done. Please know, my friends, that with all my heart, I have never felt such comfort of my soul and spirit as I have felt from you as I begin this journey. It has been unspeakable joy for me as I watch the Body of Christ perform as our Lord Jesus meant it to function, each person using his or her gift of the Spirit. My prayer has been that God will be glorified through this. I know for me, “to live is Christ and to die is gain.” I am in a win/win situation. However, there are bonds on earth with the people we love which keep us clinging to our earthly existence. The love of my life, who I celebrated 50 wonderful years of marriage with in May, is a treasure that would be hard to release. But my dear husband has pointed me to the love of God more than any person on earth. My children are such a blessing in my heart and always have been. My grandchildren are the apple of my eye today and I yearn to see them grow up through each stage of life.

My loving Father knows all of this. He loves me beyond anything I could ever comprehend because He is love. He proved His love for me in that “while I was yet a sinner…(spitting in his face and at my worst,) Christ died for me,” the death I deserved. How can I doubt Him now?

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